caterpillars to butterflies..

The only thing constant in life is change..
whether we want it or not..whether we like it or no,,wheteher we are prepared for it or not CHaNGEs will come in our life.. Heres something from Paul coelho on how to deal with change..


by Paulo Coelho

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on
staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the
meaning of the other stages we have to go through.

Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters -- whatever name we
give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that
have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did
you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting
friendship ended all of a sudden?

You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can
tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why
certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have
turned into dust, just like that.

But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved:
your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your
sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves,
getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a
standstill.

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not
even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has
passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late
adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents,
lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone
away and has not
the least intention of coming back.

Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it maybe!) to destroy
souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or
donate the books you have at home. Everything in
this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what
is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also
means making some room for other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays
this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we
lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to
be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your
love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to
watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how
much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you,
nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that
are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date,
decisions that are always put off waiting for the ideal moment. Before
a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself
that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a
time when you could live without that thing or that person.

Nothing is irreplaceable. A habit is not a need.
This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult,but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but
simply because that no longerfits your life.

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.
Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

choices

When you choose your behavior, you choose your
consequence. You make
the choices. No one else. Just you.

Now that you have put yourself in these situations
you ask, how safe
are we? And we would say as safe as you believe you
are. Indeed.
When you get to a fear based reality, or you get
complacent, you
need to think with empathy and understanding. You
need to ask
yourself what role you are playing in the life of
those around you.
Stop and re-think your reactions. Step outside your
comfort zone and
see your life and the world around you with open
eyes. Realize how
your actions and beliefs emotionally shift in a
given set of
circumstance when they should remain consistent.
When you know
yourself, you will feel safe.

What is it you want to see happen in your life? You
define your
relationships and the world you live in; because the
way you act and
behave at home you carry into the outside world.
This is why good
patterns of self-actualization are important.

If you become addicted through repetition to certain
behaviors or
beliefs then you see them as normal and acceptable,
to you, only to
you – perhaps not to the world outside.

our actions are a vibrational match
(The Law of
attraction) to that which comes into your life. When
you get to the
point of awareness that you can hear what is being
said to you – you
are in alignment with the accumulation of knowing
you have
experienced within your lifetime and at this point
of awareness
everything becomes easier.

Have you ever wondered why you don't feel safe; why
you don't feel
fulfilled - it is because you do not know the true
you. You have let
your concept of you be molded by others. You have
allowed the
expectations of others to shape you and your beliefs
so you can
better meet their standard of life rather than
fulfilling your own
standard of life! The expectations of that distant
father, that
emotionally expecting mother, the expectations of
that spouse and
what they did not say place a deeper self-doubting
expectation on
your soul than their words ever could. And all you
needed them to
say is "I love you and you are safe – here at home
and in my arms…"
Something so simple and such a huge difference that
would have made.
So, now we say to you, you are aware… now `stop it'
and move on. You
know what you need. State the need, manifest the
will to create it,
the satisfaction of the need and achieve it through
deliberate
design.

In order to feel safe you have realized you create
through
deliberate intent. We have said this time and time
again. You create
directly and you manifest whatever your intent is.
All these things
are valid, even fear and the feeling of not being
safe, because you
focus on them (fears and lackages) and allow them to> become real.

What you have to realize is that you, each of you,
young and old,
share the responsibility for shaping the world you
live in. The
closer you become to being fully integrated with
your source, the
more harmoniously you relate to the world around
you.

Everything that you feel, everything you experience,
is a reflection
(a mirroring back) of the vibrations you are putting
out. When you
focus on yourself, being well, being integrated with
thoughts of joy
and success you reshape your reality into a more
happy reality. So,
if you feel unsafe it is because you are focusing on
things that
will create a sense of insecurity and paranoia. If
you look for
conflict and deceit, it is because you already
believe it will come
to you and therefore, guess what! You will surely
find it.

Now, you have the power individually and
collectively to shape this
world you live in. You, each of you. But you can not
do it if you
think someone will get ahead of you, another person
may get that
promotion, you won't meet that deadline and on and
on. You can not
be concerned with what that other person is going to
do with their
life, unless it has direct impact on you and your
life. Then it may
be worth reflecting on. But you alone have to do
what is right for
yourself.

You come into this world with your arms crying out,
"Here I am" and
Spirit is with you. When you leave this world your
arms will be
closed and you will say "I am done and ready to
leave" and Spirit
will be with you. In-between these two events there
is a life to be
had, adventures to be discovered and the joyous
acknowledgement that
life is a precious gift to be celebrated.

Whenever you have a dominant thought in your head,
or something
prying on your mind, that is emitting an energy that
is creating
that very reality – you are taking pure energy,
collapsing it and
giving it form! You have that power. Your dominant
thoughts become
what you live and know.

So if you ask us `how safe are we' we would remind
you that this
very question emits the vibrational essence of your
fear based
reality and that vibration is a reflection of your
own belief
system. So we would say that you can reshape that by
acknowledging
the potential it has (this thought) for being
harmful to your well-
Channeled message frim Micheal as given through David Reid Lowell

How to Stay Young Indefinitely.

- Forget your age. Your number of birthdays isn’t important. How you look, feel and most of all your enthusiasm for living determine your age.

- Be adventuresome! Always stay interested in life. Find new things to do daily. Do the things you enjoy and plan something "SPECIAL" to look forward to each day. Never, never let yourself be unhappy or depressed. This leads to poor health. You are as young as you feel.

- Eat nourishing food. A balanced diet is very important. And never, never overeat.

- Exercise daily. A good long enjoyable walk each day is a must for good health. Get into this habit, and each day you’ll find yourself looking forward to your walk.

- The most important exercise you can do other than walking is the "stomach lift". This strengthens your abdominal muscles and enables you to permanently keep your waistline.

Here’s how to do it. Pull you stomach in and hold it for about 20 seconds. Relax, now pull your stomach in so that it feels as if your stomach is touching your backbone. Hold for a count of 30. Do this several times daily. Do it anytime you think of it.

- Follow a regular exercise routine about 10 minutes daily. If you don’t know any regular exercise routines, your public library should have several books on this.

- Good elimination. If you have poor bowel habits, try to correct them. Eat bran cereal for breakfast. Add high fiber bread to your menu.

- Relax. Remember, relaxation is beauty, tension is ugliness. Now here’s how to begin relaxing. Lie on your bed or couch. Pretend you’re floating on a cloud or drifting idly in the ocean. think of anything that will make you feel loose and free.

First tense your arms; stretch them as long as you can. Next tense your fingers. Then ball them into tight fists. Now, let your arms and hands relax. Pretend you’re a rag doll and you cannot move them. Do the same with your legs and feet. Next comes the neck. Roll your head from side to side as if you were saying no. Then pretend your head is so heavy you cannot lift it from the pillow.

Work at this daily until you teach yourself to relax. It can be done. When you’re at work or anywhere that you feel yourself become tense, take several deep breaths through your mouth. This will help relax you. Follow this plan and you should look and feel young INDEFINITELY.

- Keep your mind active and continue to learn. Take advantage of opportunities, like new friends, reading, movies, television, traveling and cultural activities. Take advantage of community resources. Most churches have programs for older people. YMCA college and hospitals have programs. Become a giver rather than a taker, beginning to look at the later years or life as time you can make major contributions to people at a personal level. Help out at the local Y. There are a lot of kids and young families that could use guidance and counseling from older people.

- Don’t let your self become sedentary. Don’t stay cooped up in the house. Plan short walks, visits and shopping trips around your neighborhood.

- Travel can be an aid to living a full and healthy life. Go some place new. It doesn’t have to be a trip around the world. Walk around your community, take a ride across town. Visit the local museum and other interesting places. If you live in a larger town go to the local airport. Travel can be an aid to living a full and healthy life. Go someplace new. A wonderful time can be had on bus tours. You meet lots of interesting people and see new places.

- Friends are a source of energy. Friends and family are important to a healthy lift. Friends make us feel good. They keep us wanting to be alive.

- Be less critical and more appreciative of others. Try not to put enormous demand and expectation on others. Be more appreciative of yourself. See yourself in terms of potentials and talents rather than weakness and problems.

- Learn to take care of your body. Develop a regular habit of exercise. Find some activity that will allow you to stretch, breath and gently exert yourself. Swimming, cycling and golf are good healthy activities.

- Search out and make friends with people who are active and OPTIMISTIC. Spend as little time as possible with people who do nothing but complain or gossip. Look for cheerful people.

- Avoid getting into religious or political arguments. They will just rattle you up. Speak and get involved in healthy projects. Nothing will put more jest into living than some good hobbies, especially ones that you can share with other people. Eat out with other people and go to different places to eat.

- To have real happiness and contentment, simplify your living. Get rid of half of the junk that you have no use for and never need anyway. Don’t clutter up your life with every gadget you see, but don’t want or need.

mothers ..

आई
दिवसभर कितीही दंगा केला
तरी मला थोपटल्याशिवाय आई कधी झोपली नाही
घरापासुन दूर आता म्हणूनच कदाचित
शांत झोप कधी लागली नाही

कुणी विचारतं ..
"तुला घरी जावसं वाटत नाही?"
कसं सांगू त्यांना, घरातून निघताना
आईला मारलेली मिठी सोडवत नाही

आई, तू सांगायची गरज नाही
तुला माझी आठवण येते
आता माझ्यासाठि डबा करायचा नसतो
तरीहि तू सहा वाजताच उठतेस

तुझ्या हातचा चहा
तुझ्या हातची पोळी
तुझ्या हातची माझी नावडती भाजीही खायला
आता जीभ आसुसली

घरापासून दूर ...
आई जग खूप वेगळं आहे
तुझ्या सावलीत अगदी बिंनधास्त होते
आता रणरणंत ऊन आहे

तू आपल्या पिलांसाठी
सगळं केलंस ...
एक दिवस पिलं म्हणाली, "आई आता आम्हाला जायचंय" ...
आणि तू त्यांना जाऊ दिलंस

आई, तू इथे नाहीस
बाकी माझ्याकडे सगळं आहे
घरापासून दूर
जग खूप वेगळं आह

poet unknown

WHY I LOVE MUMs

Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, "I'm tired, and it's getting
late. I think I'll go to bed"

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the
next day's lunches.
Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper
the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar
container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot
for brewing the next morning. She then put some wet clothes in the
dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured
a loose button She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the
phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.
She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to
dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the
desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the
field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the
envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near
her purse.

Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night solution
& age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her
nails.

Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."

"I'm on my way," she said.

She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then
made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on.




She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and
TV's, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a
brief conversation with the one up still doing homework. In her own
room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day,
straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most
important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the
accomplishment of her goals.




About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in
particular. "I'm going to bed."




And he did...without another thought.




Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer...?




CAUSE WE ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL..... (and we can't die sooner, we
still have things to do!!!!)

Gift of wings

There was once a lonely girl who longed desperately for love. One day while she was walking in the woods she found two starving song birds. She took them home and put them in a small glided cage. She nurtured them with love and the birds grew strong. Every morning they greeted her with a marvellous song. The girl felt great love for the birds. She wanted their singing to last forever.

One day the girl left the door to the cage open. The larger and stronger of the two birds flew from the cage. The girl watched anxiously as he circled high above her. She was so frightened that he would fly away and she would never see him again that as he flew close, she grasped at him wildly. She caught him in her fist. She clutched him tightly within her hand. Her heart gladened at her sucess in capturing him. Suddenly she felt the bird go limp. She opened her hand stared in horror at the dead bird. Her desperate clutching love had killed him.

She noticed the other bird teteering on the edge of the cage. She could feel his great need for freedom. His need to soar into the clear, blue sky. She lifted him from the cage and tossed him softly into the air. The bird circled once, twice, three times.

The girl watched delighted at the bird's enjoyment. Her heart was no longer concerned with her loss. She wanted the bird to be happy. Suddenly the bird flew closer and landed softly on her shoulder. It sang the sweetest melody, she had ever heard.

The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tight, the best way to keep love is to give it -- WINGS!

Across time and space i send to you..

Dear Reader whoever you are this is for you ...matters not if you accidently arrived on this blog or you were invited or directed by someone you know..WELCOME

Tarry a while ..browse .. read something that will make you smile..feel good about yourself.. something that makes you say LIfe iS beautiful...let me give it that shot it deserves!

Some things i want to share with YOU
somethings that will bring you JOY....the Joy that you rightfully deserve!


1.http://www.takingabreather.com/
please view the presentations they are beautiful and will make you get in touch with Joy..

***************************************
Be Loved for Who You Really Are.
by Judith Sherven, Ph.D. & James Sniechowski, Ph.D


Being unique. Standing out from the crowd. Taking a position that's different from everyone else's. Imagine that. How do you feel when you do? How do you imagine other people feel toward you?
On an even more personal note, when you were growing up, how were you treated by your immediate family for the ways you were different from them? Did your parents and siblings rejoice in your uniqueness? Or were you brought into line, expected to be just like everyone else--or else!?
Most of the men and women we've surveyed at our national and international workshops and trainings have told us that they learned to hide their individuality and/or feel ashamed or embarrassed by who they are. They've never been sure whether they are truly lovable for who they know themselves to be. It's no surprise that pain, heartache, loneliness, and depression follow form their self-doubt.
That's why it is important to understand how you were raised so that you can identify unconscious beliefs and feelings you have toward yourself and anyone whose differentness is undeniable.
And when it comes to love and intimacy, here's the problem. You've also been raised with the belief that someday you would find someone, fall in love, and live happily ever after. That seems innocent enough, right? But look again.
Unconsciously you are carrying around a time bomb. And what is that? The belief that to be different is in some way bad, even dangerous. And then you meet someone. Your call that person your soul-mate. But, because that person is one-of-a-kind, he or she naturally and necessarily must be different from you in many ways, as you will be different from your heartthrob. Then what?
At first, not much. All goes well. Thrilling. Blissful. It's heaven until the differences start to show up. Now the little voices start, warning you without ever being explicit. It's just a feeling. Something's wrong and needs to be fixed. You try to fix yourself. Or you try to make over your lover. But you know yourself that you don't want to be changed to fit into someone else's dream world. And you soon discover that neither does that person who, just a short time ago, was your ideal sweetheart.
Here you thought your soul-mate was perfect, absolutely perfect. But now you are in conflict. Rather than an eternal walk down lover's lane you find yourself on the dark aisle toward divorce court. There goes happily-ever-after!
So, what can you do to prevent this? For the spiritual joy of lifelong love and romance based on trust, respect, and mutual dedication to the well-being of your relationship, you cannot hide who you are. . . who you really are. And neither can your partner. You have to show up, make yourself known. By doing so you make yourself available to what love has in store for you, because love has larger designs on you than you can imagine at the outset of your relationship. Then, and only then, will you be open to the adventure of true, romantic intimacy.
To help you do this, our work is focused on providing a spiritually inspired road-map for relationship success. Our simple and redeeming message is: you are to love one another for the one-of-a-kind miracles that you are.
After all, what do each of us want more than anything? To be known for who we really are, through and through, to be respected, valued, and loved. We yearn to be certain that we are loved whether we're on top of the world or freaking out, whether we're being creative and charming or in the throws of depression.
To achieve that you must first understand that all committed relationships go through a developmental process consisting of four-passages. When you accept this for the fact that it is, you will never have to feel lost along the way.. Never.

The four passages of love, what we call the arc of love, comprise the necessary and predictable progression that love requires of any successful couple.
In the first passage, what we call "A Glimpse of What is Possible," you not only fall in love, but you are also given a chance to see the very real perfection in your partner and in yourself. You see the wondrous possibilities available between you if you will surrender to where love wants to take you. The question is--will you follow love's lessons to develop your capacity to live that perfection in your everyday lives.
In the second passage, what we call "The Clash of Differences," each of you as distinctly unique people will reveal more of your complexity, your limitations, quirks, excellence, and your troublesome self-centeredness. Love is no longer just ecstatic. Now it demands that you appreciate and respect your partner as different and be willing to resolve your conflicts so that both of you are satisfied.
The third passage is called "The Magic of Differences," because you both, as a couple, cement your trust of one another by growing through and beyond your conflicts. You realize that there is a very real wisdom in your choice of one another. You see that your differences, many of which you previously thought were only annoying, are now the basis for your ongoing personal growth, learning, and spiritual expansion--individually and together.
The fourth passage, "The Grace of Deep Intimacy," brings you into a full and total trust of your love, a love so rich that it infuses all your activities and is obvious to all those with whom you are involved. Now the bliss that was free in the very beginning has become a permanent and well-earned resident in each of your hearts and in the heart of your relationship.
And finally, if you are to be loved and love one another for the one-of-a-kind miracles that you are, you must understand that the natural and inevitable challenges, conflicts, and changes you will encounter in your long-term relationship are designed to help you do just that.
But, because so few of us receive any meaningful training to help us create and maintain love and romance, you may feel like giving up because you think these conflicts shouldn't be happening. You may be tempted to conclude that your clashes are signs of failure. Unless you are suffering under emotional and/or physical abuse (which definitely has nothing to do with love), your conflicts are in fact signals that both of you are showing up in your distinctiveness and that's an essential requirement if your love is to ever be the kind that is filled with everyday romance--one that lasts a lifetime.
So, during each passage, learn to use those predictable encounters with the ways each of you is different to continually reinforce that your love is real and trustworthy. Because when the goal is to feel free to be who you are, and be loved for who you are, then every moment together offers the opportunity to show up openly and honestly and insist on being met with respect, or at least curiosity when the two of you disagree or clash. You see, real love requires you to move out beyond self-centeredness, beyond your own private fantasies about how it's supposed to be in order to take in and learn about one another and the specific and unique shape your relationship will take.
Real love insists that you practice the lesson you should have learned in kindergarten. You have to share! In other words, the only way to share love, for both of you to be loved for who you really are, is for you to consider and value each other for the amazing magic of your differences. That's a key aspect of personal spiritual expansion and the bedrock of a spiritually blessed relationship.
When you respect and value one another's uniqueness, not only do you open yourselves to experience a deep and abiding love, but you transform your relationship into a daily prayer of practical spirituality, a real-life expression of respect and value for the Creator's wondrous handiwork. You discover the magic waiting in the differences between you and the opportunity to be loved for who you really are.

**********************************************************************

The Awakening
by Sonny Carroll

There comes a time in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective. This is your awakening.

You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something, or someone, to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

So you begin making your way through the "reality of today" rather than holding out for the "promise of tomorrow." You realize that much of who you are, and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you've received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about:


how you should look and how much you should weigh
what you should wear and where you should shop
where you should live or what type of car your should drive
who you should sleep with and how you should behave
who you should marry and why you should stay
the importance of having children or what you owe your family
Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.

You accept the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK... they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a "perfect 10" Or a perfect human being for that matter. So you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.

And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that "it is truly in giving that we receive and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of "creating" & "contributing" rather than "obtaining" & "accumulating."

And you give thanks for the simple things you've been blessed with; things that millions of people upon the face of the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed and the freedom to pursue your own dreams.

And then you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors including participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you've learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.

Then you learn about love and relationships, how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally and that not everyone will always come through and interestingly enough, it's not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren't done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns; anger, jealousy and resentment.

You learn how to say I was wrong and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that you don't know all the answers, it's not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.

Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it's wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet "your" standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that "alone" does not mean "lonely" and you begin to discover the joy of spending time "with yourself" and "on yourself." Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know. Self Love. And so, it comes to pass that through understanding your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.

Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn't change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So, you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead. You set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.

You learn that life isn't always fair and you don't always get what you think you deserve and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment. You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these things are not an act of God... but merely a random act of fate.

And you stop looking for guarantees because you've learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you'll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through your fears because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.

Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY... the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. Then a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you FAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.


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Keep Your Dream

I have a friend named Monty Roberts who owns a horse ranch in San Ysidro. He has let me use his house to put on fund-raising events to raise money for youth at risk programs.

The last time I was there he introduced me by saying, "I want to tell you why I let Jack use my horse. It all goes back to a story about a young man who was the son of an itinerant horse trainer who would go from stable to stable, race track to race track, farm to farm and ranch to ranch, training horses. As a result, the boy's high school career was continually interrupted. When he was a senior, he was asked to write a paper about what he wanted to be and do when he grew up.

"That night he wrote a seven-page paper describing his goal of someday owning a horse ranch. He wrote about his dream in great detail and he even drew a diagram of a 200-acre ranch, showing the location of all the buildings, the stables and the track. Then he drew a detailed floor plan for a 4,000-square-foot house that would sit on a 200-acre dream ranch.

"He put a great deal of his heart into the project and the next day he handed it in to his teacher. Two days later he received his paper back. On the front page was a large red F with a note that read, `See me after class.'

"The boy with the dream went to see the teacher after class and asked, `Why did I receive an F?'

"The teacher said, `This is an unrealistic dream for a young boy like you. You have no money. You come from an itinerant family. You have no resources. Owning a horse ranch requires a lot of money. You have to buy the land. You have to pay for the original breeding stock and later you'll have to pay large stud fees. There's no way you could ever do it.' Then the teacher added, `If you will rewrite this paper with a more realistic goal, I will reconsider your grade.'

"The boy went home and thought about it long and hard. He asked his father what he should do. His father said, `Look, son, you have to make up your own mind on this. However, I think it is a very important decision for you.' "Finally, after sitting with it for a week, the boy turned in the same paper, making no changes at all.

He stated, “You can keep the F and I'll keep my dream."

Monty then turned to the assembled group and said, "I tell you this story because you are sitting in my 4,000-square-foot house in the middle of my 200-acre horse ranch. I still have that school paper framed over the fireplace." He added, "The best part of the story is that two summers ago that same schoolteacher brought 30 kids to camp out on my ranch for a week." When the teacher was leaving, he said, “Look, Monty, I can tell you this now. When I was your teacher, I was something of a dream stealer. During those years I stole a lot of kids' dreams. Fortunately you had enough gumption not to give up on yours."

"Don't let anyone steal your dreams. Follow your heart, no matter what."


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You Are Fortunate If Your Mom Is 'Mean'
Some day when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, i will tell them, as my Mean
Mom told me:
I loved you enough... to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken me just
15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes.
Children: Parents aren't perfect, you know.
I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they
almost broke my heart.
But most of all, i loved you enough... to say "NO" when i knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad i won them, because in the end you won, too.
And some day when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy
for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat
sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know
who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we
would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labour Laws by making us work. We had to
wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel
jobs. I
think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers,
she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could
meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught
shoplifting, vandalising others' property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. Now that we have left
home,
we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's
wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms!